things ive heard people say in class:

cafetivity:

• “what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”

• “is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 

• “let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*

• in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”

• “what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”

• “in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”

• “did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”

• “wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??”

• *scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 

• “i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”

• in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”

• “don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.

• “i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”

• “fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”

• in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”

• “i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”

• “i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”